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118 Romantic One Liners Jokes

Large collection of funniest romantic one liners that are really funny to read. These short one lines are about romance and romantic relationship. Will be great to read and enjoy.

If you are a romantic person, you will love our large collection of romantic pickup lines, and romantic chat-up lines for guys.

Romantic one liner jokes

We repeat the line “One liner a day, keeps a doctor away” just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners. So check this list of romantic funny lines and enjoy.

1: Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.

2: I ran into my ex the other day, hit reverse, and ran into him again.

3: You shouldn’t come back, because later you’ll still want to leave.

4: The difference between ‘Girlfriend’ and ‘Girl Friend’ is that little space in between we call the ‘Friend Zone’.

5: A relationship without trust is like a phone without service. And what do you do with a phone without service? You play games.

6: A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn’t love her.

7: What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine’s Day? You’re purrr-fect for me!

8: You need to carry women in your arms; they will climb on your back by themselves.

9: Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

10: Beauty is only skin deep …but ugly goes all the way to the bone!

11: If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

12: Confucius says Love one another. If it doesn’t work, just interchange the last two words.

13: To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

14: No matter what has happened. No matter what you’ve done. No matter what you will do. I will always love you. I swear it.

15: Have a girl that everyone else dreams about, but don’t dream about a girl that everyone else has.

16: Do you know what it means to come home to a man who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house.

17: Dear men, if you stopped seeing your wife as a woman, it doesn’t mean that all men are blind.

18: Love is one long sweet dream… and marriage is the alarm clock.

19: I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

20: Love is like peeing yourself – everyone can see but only you feel the warmth.

21: Don’t let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella.

22: Only a widow can say exactly where her husband is.

23: The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

24: Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.

25: I am probably single….because i didnt forward those chain messages in 2008

26: Why do men like love at first sight? Because he knows it’s all over as soon as she opens her mouth.

27: I don’t think it’s rude to ask someone in an online dating site to send a picture posing with a copy of today’s newspaper.

28: Updating your relationship status in public is fine. Updating your relationship problems in public is stupidity.

29: There are all types of love in this world but never the same love twice.

30: It is better to be on seventh heaven, rather than on the seventh month.

31: Friends are forever. Until they get in a relationship.

32: I’d love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.

33: (NAME) spent most of his university days single But it was by choice. Woman chose not to date him.

34: Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

35: I wanted to tell you that wherever I am, whatever happens, I’ll always think of you, and the time we spent together, as my happiest time. I’d do it all over again, if I had the choice. No regrets.

36: What’s a man’s idea of a perfect date? A woman who answers the door stark naked holding a six pack.

37: What happens when you fall in love with a french chef? You get buttered up.

38: Why don’t you trust me?, she texted both the guys simultaneously.

39: The less you love a woman, the faster your hand gets tired.

40: What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.

41: Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

42: A man is running after a woman, just until she catches him.

43: The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

44: Everything has to be related in a woman: if the mouth shuts, the legs open.

45: If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s. It’s never been used.

46: Love is not the number of times you kissed her, but the number of moments you were dying to kiss her.

47: There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.

48: I don’t have a solution, but I do admire the problem.

49: I don’t have a solution, but I do admire the problem.

50: I love the F5 key. It´s just so refreshing.

51: Never laugh at your girlfriends choices… your one of them.

52: They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

53: An iron rule of a leader – make love to your wife in the morning and you will be the first.

54: If a woman has fallen – an idiot will walk by, a gentleman will help her to get up, but a real man will lie down with her.

55: The key to every relationship is honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. Honesty. …Gonna keep typing this until she stops looking over my shoulder.

56: If a woman is cold as a fish, a man has to be as patient as a fisherman.

57: I’m glad he’s single because I’m going to climb that like a tree.

58: The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

59: Love helps to kill time. And time helps to kill love.

60: I sent an angel to watch over you last night but he came back saying he can’t watch porn…

61: Love is like a machine… sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.

62: Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion!

63: Life is a comedy for those who think, but a tragedy for those who feel.

64: I like to show my girlfriend who’s boss in our house by holding a mirror up to her face.

65: What are the 2 reasons the girl broke up with her boyfriend? Because he was a cheetah and because he was lion too much to her.

66: You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall… is in love with me.

67: A woman is like a suitcase: both hard to carry and a pity to throw away.

68: Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.

69: It’s a sin to love another’s wife and a punishment to love yours.

70: Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

71: What’s the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

72: What is the definition of ‘making love’? Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her.

73: How can you be so sad when you are so beautiful?

74: If you love a woman, you shouldn’t be ashamed to show her to your wife.

75: There is 1 thing 2 do 3 words 4 you I LOVE YOU.

76: A wife in big doses is poison, in small doses – medicine.

77: We come to love not by finding a perfect person… but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

78: You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.

79: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date? No, but they had an Apple.

80: You never have to worry about love at first sight if you steadfastly keep looking at your phone.

81: Everyone can find one person or three cats waiting for him.

82: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.

83: Never get on one knee for a girl who won’t get on two for you.

84: It’s not a relationship until you argue about whose turn it is to apologize.

85: Are you the energizer bunny cause you just keep going and going through my mind.

86: Excuse me miss, can I have the time? I’d check my watch but I can’t take my eyes off you.

87: It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look!

88: Men, if you have met your dream girl, materialize her.

89: A woman is like a shadow: when you walk from behind she runs away. When you run from her – follows you behind.

90: Paid love costs less.

91: Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

92: Those who have some means think that the most important thing in the world is love; the poor know that it is money.

93: Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

94: The kiss is a wordless articulation of desire whose object lies in the future, and somewhat to the south.

95: Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go, it’s pretty damn good.

96: What makes you think this is my first time?

97: The only difference between the people I’ve dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

98: And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.

99: Love is blind, only marriage opens your eyes.

100: Love – is an extreme sympathy that leads to bed.

101: The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

102: I think, therefore I’m single.

103: A real Don Juan has to dress not only tasteful but also very quickly.

104: The difference between true love and dinosaurs: We’re sure that dinosaurs once existed on this earth.

105: Never break someone’s heart because they have only one inside…break their bones because they have 206 of them.

106: It’s better to be the first lover than a third wife.

107: I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.

108: I never loved you any more than I do, right this second. And I’ll never love you any less than I do, right this second.

109: Do you love me because I am beautiful or I am I beautiful because you love me?

110: Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

111: Let’s emotionally damage each other and call it Love.

112: Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

113: The end of a relationship isn’t the worst thing. It’s worse when it doesn’t end after the end.

114: If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

115: If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.

116: Hi, I’m writing a phone book, can I have your number?

117: No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves.

118: You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

Did you find romantic one liners funny?

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