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40 One Liner Jokes on Jesus Christ and Pope

Collection of funny one liner jokes on Jesus Christ, Pope, Church, and Christians. Read them for fun and enjoy. You may also like collection of jokes on god and black people.

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Jesus Christ and Pope one liner jokes

We repeat the line “One liner a day, keeps a doctor away” just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners. So check this list of Jesus Christ and pope funny lines and enjoy.

1: Don’t let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

2: Why did God create stock analysts? In order to make weather forecasters look good.

3: When you get to your wit’s end, You’ll find God lives there.

4: The difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

5: Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.

6: The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails= 4 given.

7: We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.

8: Why are black peoples nostrils so big? Because that’s what God held them by when he was painting them.

9: Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.

10: Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

11: The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

12: Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he’ll starve to death while praying for a fish.

13: It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

14: Did Noah include termites on the ark?

15: What’s the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

16: If a church wants a better pastor, It only needs to pray for the one it has.

17: Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

18: There’s good climate in heaven, but a better company in hell.

19: Why can’t Jesus play hockey? A: He keeps getting nailed to the boards.

20: Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

21: God grades on the cross, not the curve.

22: Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

23: Prayer: Don’t give God instructions — just report for duty!

24: Why wasn’t Jesus born in the USA? Because God couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.

25: Which part of the Bible won’t you find a black man? The Book of Job.

26: Moses was leading his people through the desert for 40 years. It seems, even in Biblical times men avoided asking the way.

27: If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

28: Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.

29: If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

30: In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma – but never let him be the period.

31: Telling a girl to calm down works about as well as trying to baptize a cat.

32: If Eve wore a fig leaf, what did Adam wear? A hole in it.

33: What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12.

34: If we’re all God’s children, what’s so special about Jesus? This Guy is a goldmine.

35: Why was Jesus a virgin when he died? Every time he touched a ‘wound’ it closed.

36: I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.

37: What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common? Their balls are just for decoration.

38: How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an alter boy.

39: Plan ahead – It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.

40: I have as much authority as the Pope, i just don’t have as many people who believe it.

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