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66 Mean and Offensive Pickup Line Jokes

Collection of mean and offensive short jokes. These offensive one liner jokes are really about mean attitude and hilarious to read. Enjoy.

You may also like ugly one liners and sarcastic one liners which are other way of insulting one line fun!

66 Mean and Offensive Pickup lines

We repeat the line “One liner a day, keeps a doctor away” just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners. So check this list of mean & offensive pickup lines and enjoy.

1: It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer.

2: Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?

3: He’s as sharp as a bowling ball.

4: It’s scary to think that people like you are graduating from college.

5: She’s so fat, she’s got more chins than a Chinese phone book.

6: For those who never forget a face, you are an exception.

7: You’re like school in the summertime – no class.

8: I don’t think you are stupid. You just have a bad luck when thinking.

9: I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.

10: I haven’t been ignoring you; I’ve been prioritizing you.

11: If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth.

12: Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.

13: You’re riding the crest of a slump?

14: I would love to insult you… but that would be beyond the level of your intelligence.

15: You’re so fat, you could sell shade.

16: How do you starve a black man? Put his food stamps in his work boots.

17: I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

18: Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.

19: You sound reasonable. It must be time to up my medication!

20: It’s better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

21: I’m glad to see you’re not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.

22: Brains aren’t everything. In your case they’re nothing.

23: Just because you have one doesn’t mean you have to act like one.

24: I can feel my personality turning a dull shade of grey when I talk to you.

25: I may love to shop but I’m not buying your bullshit.

26: Every time someone calls me fat I get so depress I cut myself… a piece of cake.

27: Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

28: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.

29: You stare at frozen juice cans because they say, ‘concentrate’.

30: Behind every fat woman there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, your in the way.

31: You were beautiful in my dreams, but a fucking nightmare in reality.

32: Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.

33: If shit was music, you’d be an orchestra.

34: If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents.

35: Karma takes too long, I’d rather beat the shit out of you just now.

36: Your cock is so small you could use it to floss teeth.

37: You do realize makeup isn’t going to fix your stupidity?

38: Does your train of thought have a caboose?

39: You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.

40: Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.

41: It’s not often that one gets the opportunity to speak about someone intelligent, respected and admired. Unfortunately tonight I have to talk about (NAME).

42: You’re so poor I saw you kicking a can across the street I asked you what you were doing you said moving.

43: If I got a penny for everyone I’ve met who is as beautiful as you, I’d have all the money in the world.

44: I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.

45: What do you call a black priest? Holy Shit.

46: Missionary Impossible: When 2 fat people try to have sex.

47: I’m multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.

48: What did God say when he saw the first black person? Ooops, I burnt one!

49: I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up your ass.

50: You’re so fat that your husband rolled over after sex, rolled over again and was STILL on top of you.

51: She’s so ugly, the fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

52: Why are men are like public toilets? The good ones are taken, the rest are full of shit.

53: Ever since I saw you in your family tree I’ve wanted to cut it down.

54: I would ask you how old you are but I know you can’t count that high.

55: I don’t care how funny you are, if I don’t like you, I won’t laugh.

56: So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

57: What language are you speaking? Cause it sounds like bullshit.

58: If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart.

59: Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent!

60: You’re so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet.

61: Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

62: Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

63: She’s as smart as bait.

64: No, those pants don’t make you look fatter. I mean, how could they?

65: Hey, you have something on your chin… no, the 3rd one down.

66: Girl: Why are you so ugly? Boy: I’m you from the future

Did you find mean & offensive one liners funny?

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