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75 Dirty One Liner Jokes That Are Not So Appropriate

Collection of funniest 75 dirty jokes. Readers discretion advised. These are outright funny and hilarious! However, they are not appropriate in most occasions.

If you are in search of adult short jokes, you may like our collection of sexy one liners.

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Dirty One Liner Jokes

We repeat the line “One liner a day, keeps a doctor away” just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners. So check this list of dirty one line jokes and enjoy.

1: Want to take a look at my benefit package?

2: Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

3: What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man? $3.99 a minute.

4: If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong …

5: How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

6: Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

7: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.

8: Looking at you is getting my dick harder than Chuck Norris

9: You have the perfect face for radio.

10: You grow on people….so does cancer.

11: I run faster horny than you do scared.

12: Shut up, you’ll never be the man your mother is.

13: I’d like to think inside your box.

14: If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.

15: Life is like toilet paper, you’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.

16: Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

17: I flirted with disaster last night. Now disaster won’t stop texting me.

18: The only reason the term ‘Ladies first’ was invented was for the guy to check out the woman’s ass.

19: What’s the definition of black foreplay? Don’t scream or I’ll kill you.

20: How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an alter boy.

21: Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance.

22: My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

23: Did you know that your body is made 70% of water? And now I’m thirsty.

24: My cat’s dead, can I play with your pussy instead?

25: What’s worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced.

26: Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, the chicken was somewhere between 8′ to 11′ tall.

27: Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute? The prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack.

28: Fuck me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Cindrella?

29: What is the difference betwen a blonde and a Lamborghini? You don’t let your friends borrow your Lamborghini.

30: What’s got four legs and one arm? A Rottweiler.

31: How do you embarrass an archeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

32: Why do women have vaginas? So men will talk to them.

33: I’m as bored as a slut on her period.

34: Why did the snowman smile? Because the snowblower is coming.

35: I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.

36: Hi, I’m bisexual. I’d like to BUY you a drink…and then get sexual.

37: The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait.

38: Why’d the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong pair of socks.

39: How does one know a man is going to say something smart?..His senentences start with ‘A woman once told me..’

40: Why do women have smaller feet than men? It’s one of those ‘evolutionary things’ that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

41: Did you get those yoga pants on sale? Because at my house they’re 100% off,

42: Why are women like KFC? After you’ve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

43: Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest.

44: How can you make a gay man scream twice? Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains.

45: Why doesn’t Santa have any kids? He only comes once a year.

46: Sacred cows make the best hamburgers.

47: You still use Internet Explorer? You must like it nice and slow.

48: What’s the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck.

49: What’s the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck.

50: Why does the bride always wear white? Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

51: Why do vegetarians give good head? Because they are used to eating nuts!

52: Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He’s all right now.

53: Why can’t men get mad cow disease? Because they’re all pigs.

54: One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, ‘Please send me a sister.’ Santa Clause wrote him back, ‘Ok, send me your mother.’

55: What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

56: If God hadn’t meant the pussy to be eaten, he wouldn’t have made it look like a taco.

57: If you force sex on a prostitute is it rape or shoplifting?

58: Why can’t you play Uno with a Mexican? They steal all the green cards.

59: The best curve on a girl is her smile… Naw just kiddin, look at dat ass.

60: What’s the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks!

61: I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said ‘Are you going to help?’ I said ‘No, six should be enough.’

62: How does a man show he’s planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

63: I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given a shit in days.

64: Blind man walks into a bar… And a table, and a chair.

65: What do you call a cheap circumcision? A: a rip off

66: How can you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist? A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.

67: Why do women pierce their bellybutton? Place to hang their air freshener.

68: Did you hear about the gay security guard who got fired from his job at the sperm bank? He got caught drinking on the job.

69: Do you know what the square root of 69 is? Ate something. (8.xxxxxxx….)

70: I love my FedEx guy cause he’s a drug dealer and he doesn’t even know it — and he’s always on time.

71: What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down? Married.

72: Are you a Nice girl or Good girl?: NICE girls blush when they watch porn, GOOD girls smile cause they know they can do better.

73: What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers? One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.

74: Just because you have one doesn’t mean you have to act like one.

75: I’ll get you wetter than a Scottish summer.

Did you find these dirty one liners funny?

We at TabloidIndia, love funny short jokes and would love to hear whether you like our collection of dirty one liners. Do share your feedback.

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