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77 Insulting One Liners that are Funny

Large collection of funny insulting one liner jokes that are not always pleasant. Many of these are arrogant attitude related short quotes that are funny to read and enjoy.

You may also like ugly one liners and sarcastic one liners which are other way of insulting one line fun!

Insulting one liner jokes

We repeat the line “One liner a day, keeps a doctor away” just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners. So check this list of insulting but funny lines and enjoy.

1: He is known as a miracle comic. If he’s funny, it’s a miracle!

2: How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an alter boy.

3: When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, ‘I’m very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through.’

4: He’s a recovering alcoholic: recovering from last night!

5: I’ve seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!

6: Why don´t women have men´s brains? Because they don’t have penises to put them in

7: There’s only one problem with your face, I can see it.

8: He’s a few clowns short of a circus.

9: How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

10: I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, ‘I’m going to mop the floor with your face.’ I said, ‘You’ll be sorry.’ He said, ‘Oh, yeah? Why?’ I said, ‘Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.’

11: Yo’re so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.

12: You have enough fat to make another human.

13: I’d love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.

14: You have the perfect face for radio.

15: You are living proof that manure can sprout legs and walk.

16: If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.

17: You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

18: Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people.

19: You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.

20: If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.

21: I’m not being rude, you’re just insignificant.

22: What would you call a woman who goes out with You? Desperate!

23: Your so dense, light must bend around you.

24: I’m already visualising the duct tape across your mouth.

25: You are not even beneath my contempt.

26: You’re the reason why women earn 75 cents to the dollar.

27: Save your breath… You’ll need it to blow up your date.

28: Are your parents siblings?

29: Loltard: Someone who uses ‘lol’ too much.

30: If you don’t like my opinion of you – improve yourself!

31: You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you’re doing your best.

32: Even if you were twice as smart, you’d still be stupid!

33: You should need a license to be that ugly.

34: Don’t you love nature, despite what it did to you?

35: As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

36: The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait.

37: She’s so wrinkled, her mother was a Shar Pei.

38: Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.

39: Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.

40: I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

41: I’ll bet your parents hit the JERKpot!

42: I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

43: Did your parents keep the placenta and throw away the baby?

44: Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.

45: Shut up, you’ll never be the man your mother is.

46: Don’t feel sad, don’t feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too.

47: Don’t feel sad, don’t feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too.

48: I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?

49: If bullshit could float…you’d be the Admiral of the fleet!

50: Aha, I see the Fuck-Up Fairy has visited us again!

51: You look like a before picture.

52: Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?

53: You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen.

54: When his I.Q. reaches 50, he should sell.

55: I’m jealous of all the people that haven’t met you!

56: Aww, it’s so cute when you try to talk about things you don’t understand.

57: I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.

58: Wife: ‘I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?’ Husband: ‘You have perfect eyesight.’

59: You’ve got two brain cells: one is in a wheelchair and the other one is pushing.

60: I’m blonde. What’s your excuse?

61: If your going to be two faced at least make one of them pretty.

62: Oh, what? Sorry. I was trying to imagine you with a personality.

63: You are so ugly when you looked in the mirror your reflection walked away.

64: Shock me, say something intelligent.

65: When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.

66: You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.

67: You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back.

68: My friend’s friend is my friend. My friend’s girlfriend is my friend. My friend’s boyfriend is just a scum.

69: You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.

70: You better hope you marry rich.

71: Stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go.

72: You’re IQ’s lower than your shoe size.

73: Its girls like u that cause global warming!

74: If what you don’t know can’t hurt you, you’re invulnerable.

75: Why do men name their penises? Because they don’t like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions.

76: We all sprang from apes, but you didn’t spring far enough.

77: We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.

Did you find insulting one liners funny?

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