230 Funny and Educational Computer Quotes

A computer once beat me at chess but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Computers are like Old Testament gods lots of rules and no mercy.

I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We’ve created life in our own image.

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

I think it’s fair to say that personal computers have become the most empowering tool we’ve ever created. They’re tools of communication they’re tools of creativity and they can be shaped by their user.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that once it is competently programmed and working smoothly it is completely honest.

The new information technology… Internet and e-mail… have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications.

Personally I rather look forward to a computer program winning the world chess championship. Humanity needs a lesson in humility.

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.

A wonderful thing about a book in contrast to a computer screen is that you can take it to bed with you.

Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.

The computer is a moron.

Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don’t let anybody else use it and get a new one every six months.

The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men but that men will begin to think like computers.

To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

The basis of computer work is predicated on the idea that only the brain makes decisions and only the index finger does the work.

Think? Why think! We have computers to do that for us.

No one ever said on their deathbed ‘Gee I wish I had spent more time alone with my computer’.

I was afraid of the internet… because I couldn’t type.

It’s hardware that makes a machine fast. It’s software that makes a fast machine slow.

Many of our own people here in this country do not ask about computers telephones and television sets. They ask – when will we get a road to our village.

It’s been my policy to view the Internet not as an ‘information highway’ but as an electronic asylum filled with babbling loonies.

Computer science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.

Man I don’t want to have nothing to do with computers. I don’t want the government in my business.

Computing is not about computers any more. It is about living.

Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading manuals without the software.

To err is human but to really foul up requires a computer.

In the practical world of computing it is rather uncommon that a program once it performs correctly and satisfactorily remains unchanged forever.

Because I believe that humans are computers I conjectured that computers like people can have left- and right-handed versions.

People think computers will keep them from making mistakes. They’re wrong. With computers you make mistakes faster.

Computers are famous for being able to do complicated things starting from simple programs.

I wouldn’t know how to find eBay on the computer if my life depended on it.

Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs founded Apple Inc which set the computing world on its ear with the Macintosh in 1984.

We’re entering a new world in which data may be more important than software.

Shareware tends to combine the worst of commercial software with the worst of free software.

I happen to think that computers are the most important thing to happen to musicians since the invention of cat-gut which was a long time ago.

The power of the computer is starting to spread.

One of the most feared expressions in modern times is ‘The computer is down.’

Access to computers and the Internet has become a basic need for education in our society.

If you could utilize the resources of the end users’ computers you could do things much more efficiently.

In computing turning the obvious into the useful is a living definition of the word ‘frustration’.

Nanotechnology will let us build computers that are incredibly powerful. We’ll have more power in the volume of a sugar cube than exists in the entire world today.

What I was proud of was that I used very few parts to build a computer that could actually speak words on a screen and type words on a keyboard and run a programming language that could play games. And I did all this myself.

You couldn’t have fed the ’50s into a computer and come out with the ’60s.

If you like overheads you’ll love PowerPoint.

Modern people are only willing to believe in their computers while I believe in myself.

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

Computers have virtually replaced tape recorders.

The good news about computers is that they do what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do what you tell them to do.

We can do things that we never could before. Stop-motion lets you build tiny little worlds and computers make that world even more believable.

If your computer speaks English it was probably made in Japan.

I just became one with my browser software.

Computers in classrooms are the filmstrips of the 1990s.

When I write software I know that it will fail either due to my own mistake or due to some other cause.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers and nobody thinks of complaining.

I started on an Apple II which I had bought at the very end of 1978 for half of my annual income. I made $4500 a year and I spent half of it on the computer.

The only legitimate use of a computer is to play games.

Every piece of software written today is likely going to infringe on someone else’s patent.

Even in the developing parts of the world kids take to computers like fish to water.

There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.

To err is human but to really foul things up you need a computer.

Gee I am a complete Luddite when it comes to computers I can barely log on!

You can’t trust the internet.

I got up with my wife I sat down at the computer when she went to work and I didn’t stop until she got home.

The Internet is not just one thing it’s a collection of things – of numerous communications networks that all speak the same digital language.

Even when I work with computers with high technology I always try to put in the touch of the hand.

Bill Gates is the pope of the personal computer industry. He decides who’s going to build.

I am regularly asked what the average Internet user can do to ensure his security. My first answer is usually ‘Nothing you’re screwed’.

Yet in this global economy no jobs are safe. High-speed Internet connections and low-cost skilled labor overseas are an explosive combination.

The future lies in designing and selling computers that people don’t realize are computers at all.

I do two things. I design mobile computers and I study brains.

The Internet is a powerful way to make lots of money… But we are not going to buy Yahoo!

Supercomputers will achieve one human brain capacity by 2010 and personal computers will do so by about 2020.

I’m too old-fashioned to use a computer. I’m too old-fashioned to use a quill.

What do we want our kids to do? Sweep up around Japanese computers?

Right now computers which are supposed to be our servant are oppressing us.

I got interested in computers and how they could be enslaved to the megalomaniac impulses of a teenager.

What I try to do is factor in how people use computers what people’s problems are and how these technologies can get applied to those problems. Then I try to direct the various product groups to act on this information.

We demand privacy yet we glorify those that break into computers.

Software comes from heaven when you have good hardware.

I’m a ’70s mom and my daughter is a ’90s mom. I know a lot of women my age who are real computer freaks.

The digital revolution is far more significant than the invention of writing or even of printing.

The internet is not for sissies.

If net neutrality goes away it will fundamentally change everything about the Internet.

I’ve tried word processors but I think I’m too old a dog to use one.

As a rule software systems do not work well until they have been used and have failed repeatedly in real applications.

What we did not imagine was a Web of people but a Web of documents.

Computers make me totally blank out.

Computers themselves and software yet to be developed will revolutionize the way we learn.

We’re going to be able to ask our computers to monitor things for us and when certain conditions happen are triggered the computers will take certain actions and inform us after the fact.

This is what customers pay us for – to sweat all these details so it’s easy and pleasant for them to use our computers. We’re supposed to be really good at this. That doesn’t mean we don’t listen to customers but it’s hard for them to tell you what they want when they’ve never seen anything remotely like it.

Few companies that installed computers to reduce the employment of clerks have realized their expectations… They now need more and more expensive clerks even though they call them ‘operators’ or ‘programmers.’

There is no heaven or afterlife for broken-down computers that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark.

There is a computer disease that anybody who works with computers knows about. It’s a very serious disease and it interferes completely with the work. The trouble with computers is that you ‘play’ with them!

There is a real danger that computers will develop intelligence and take over. We urgently need to develop direct connections to the brain so that computers can add to human intelligence rather than be in opposition.

Computers and the Internet have made it really easy to rant. It’s made everyone overly opinionated.

The real story of Facebook is just that we’ve worked so hard for all this time. I mean the real story is actually probably pretty boring right? I mean we just sat at our computers for six years and coded.

Sci-fi films are the epic films of the day because we can no longer put 10000 extras in the scene – but we can draw thousands of aliens with computers.

Don’t try to be like Jackie. There is only one Jackie. Study computers instead.

That’s what happens nowadays with people working on computers. They can so easily fix things with their mouse and take out all the ‘Oh somebody coughed in the background we need to take that out’ – or somebody hit a bad note. Those are all the best moments.

Google is working on self-driving cars and they seem to work. People are so bad at driving cars that computers don’t have to be that good to be much better.

We’re getting so pulled in by computers and technology and our kids have their face in the computers all day. The human relationship is being diminished by this.

Technology is like water it wants to find its level. So if you hook up your computer to a billion other computers it just makes sense that a tremendous share of the resources you want to use – not only text or media but processing power too – will be located remotely.

It was used for decades to describe talented computer enthusiasts people whose skill at using computers to solve technical problems and puzzles was – and is – respected and admired by others possessing similar technical skills.

Why does everyone think the future is space helmets silver foil and talking like computers like a bad episode of Star Trek?

I understand that computers which I once believed to be but a hermaphrodite typewriter-cum-filing cabinet offer the cyber literate increased ability to communicate. I do not think this is altogether a bad thing however it may appear on the surface.

You have riches and freedom here but I feel no sense of faith or direction. You have so many computers why don’t you use them in the search for love?

I’m not afraid of computers taking over the world.

I don’t know anything about computers.

I get hired to hack into computers now and sometimes it’s actually easier than it was years ago.

Beatbullying’s ‘The Big March 2012’ is such a brilliant campaign and I am very proud to be a part of it. I have been a victim of cyber bullying myself and I know firsthand just how hurtful it can be. People think that they can hide behind computers and send nasty and hurtful comments to people and this is wrong.

Today computers are almost second nature to most of us.

I’ve always been at the intersection of computers and whatever they can revolutionize.

Keep in mind that there are computers that do touch things up. Like when I got a hold of the poster for ‘Gold Diggers’ I said: ‘Hey wait a minute! Those aren’t my teeth!’

It always helps to be a good programmer. It is important to like computers and to be able to think of things people would want to do with their computers.

The technological revolution at home makes it much easier for computers to do our work.

The Semantic Web is not a separate Web but an extension of the current one in which information is given well-defined meaning better enabling computers and people to work in cooperation.

We could say we want the Web to reflect a vision of the world where everything is done democratically. To do that we get computers to talk with each other in such a way as to promote that ideal.

It appears that the media filters we carry in our heads are like computers: they’ve been forced to get faster in order to keep up with the demands our high-speed society puts on them.

I am of the very last generation who didn’t have computers at school. As we grow old we’ll become something of an aberration.

Our lives sometimes depend on computers performing as predicted.

The only thing I do on a computer is play Texas Hold ‘Em really. Obviously my cell phone is a computer. My car is a computer. I’m on computers every day without actively seeking them out.

The next major explosion is going to be when genetics and computers come together. I’m talking about an organic computer – about biological substances that can function like a semiconductor.

I look like a geeky hacker but I don’t know anything about computers.

Yeah computers are going to take over the programming business because they have become so fast recently that they can solve the Halting Problem in five seconds flat.

I think I thought it would be important for electronics as we knew it then but that was a much simpler business and electronics was mostly radio and television and the first computers.

When I launched the development of the GNU system I explicitly said the purpose of developing this system is so we can use our computers and have freedom thus if you use some other free system instead but you have freedom then it’s a success. It’s not popularity for our code but it’s success for our goal.

The great advance of personal computers was not the computing power per se but the fact that it brought it right to your face that you had control over it that were confronted with it and could steer it.

I’m a very simple person. I don’t use computers.

With our work at Kazaa we began seeing growing broadband connections and more powerful computers and more streaming multimedia and we saw that the traditional way of communicating by phone no longer made a lot of sense.

There’s all these ways to instantly communicate – cars computers telephone and transportation – and even with all that it’s so hard to find people and have an honest communication with them.

I’m really anti-option so computers have been my nightmare with recording. I don’t want endless tracks I want less tracks. I want decisions to be made.

We’re just into toys whether it’s motorcycles or race cars or computers. I’ve got the Palm Pilot right here with me I’ve got the world’s smallest phone. Maybe it’s just because I’m still a big little kid and I just love toys you know?

Anyway all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can’t be good for you.

My whole life had been designing computers I could never build.

At our computer club we talked about it being a revolution. Computers were going to belong to everyone and give us power and free us from the people who owned computers and all that stuff.

My goal wasn’t to make a ton of money. It was to build good computers.

We’ve lost touch and allowed technology to take precedence over organic nature. But let’s not forget that those microchips in our computers came from elements of the earth.

In fact technology has been the story of human progress from as long back as we know. In 100 years people will look back on now and say ‘That was the Internet Age.’ And computers will be seen as a mere ingredient to the Internet Age.

Kids today are smarter than we ever were. And they’ve got computers too which is awesome. They’re scary to me.

A lot of journalists like to suck up to celebrities and then as soon as they’re a safe distance away at their computers they take shots. But that’s the way society has become especially in pop culture.

I take computers practically apart and put them back together. I have a supercomputer I built over the years out of different computers.

I’m projecting somewhere between 100 million and 200 million computers on the Net by the end of December 2000 and about 300 million users by that same time.

I know so many people who actually just watch television on their computers now and don’t even really watch their TV anymore.

You can involve yourself in electronics computers puzzles… there’s a lot of creativity and brain working. There’s a lot to model trains that people don’t realize.

Man-made computers are limited in their performance by finite processing speed and memory. So too the cosmic computer is limited in power by its age and the finite speed of light.

From cell phones to computers quality is improving and costs are shrinking as companies fight to offer the public the best product at the best price. But this philosophy is sadly missing from our health-care insurance system.

You have to wait for people to program you. The only difference is the amount of people that you’re going to reach but that’s going to even out in the next two or three years anyway. Computers are being bought faster than televisions right now.

One of the problems with computers particularly for the older people is they were befuddled by them and the computers have gotten better. They have gotten easier to use. They have gotten less expensive. The software interfaces have made things a lot more accessible.

One of the biggest challenges we had in the first decade was not that many people had personal computers. There weren’t that many people to sell to and it was hard to identify them.

Most of the musicians that I know almost to the man everybody uses Apple computers. They’ve thought of the steps that you’re going to think of when you’re trying to create your thing. And that’s where the tools get invented to make better art.

If the machines can take the drudgery out of it and just leave us with the joy of drawing then that’s the best of both worlds – and I’ll use those computers!

The ownership of computers in the home is far less than the statistics show because usually when the computer breaks down once that is the end of it for a long long time. They do not have the money or incentive to get the computer repaired.

People assume that computers will do everything that humans do. Not good. People are different from each other and they are all really different from computers.

Your car should drive itself. It’s amazing to me that we let humans drive cars… It’s a bug that cars were invented before computers.

Computers like automobiles and airplanes do only what people tell them to do.

I’ve never had Internet access. Actually I have looked at things on other people’s computers as a bystander. A few times in my life I’ve opened email accounts twice actually but it’s something I don’t want in my life right now.

It was a huge challenge to learn digital painting well enough so that computers don’t pop into mind when one sees one.

The trick with computers I think is to approach old and new things with the same reverence as you would like your favourite chair and not be seduced by the constant innovation otherwise you never do anything.

It’s interesting to see what people are saying about me. I like keep up with the latest rumors! A while back there was a rumor that I was going to do a film with Demi Moore about the takeover of Commodore computers!

Everyone has this perception that the bloggers they say horrible things about you and they hide behind their computers where you can’t see them.

The guy who knows about computers is the last person you want to have creating documentation for people who don’t understand computers.

People who are more than casually interested in computers should have at least some idea of what the underlying hardware is like. Otherwise the programs they write will be pretty weird.

Lighter computers and lighter sensors would let you have more function in a given weight which is very important if you are launching things into space and you have to pay by the pound to put things there.

Computers have become more friendly understandable and lots of years and thought have been put into developing software to convince people that they want and need a computer.

I don’t care how big and fast computers are they’re not as big and fast as the world.

Well we didn’t have our original drummer on our last record. And most of that album was not played as a band in the studio. It was mostly the world of computers and overdubs. There was very few things played live or worked out as a band.

But I’m so slow on it because I find it terribly hard writing blind on computers. The computer speaks to me but it’s just so slow I’m so terribly slow using it.

I continue to meet people who have had their Web pages hijacked their browsers corrupted in some cases their children exposed to inappropriate material from these dangerous programs hidden in their family computers.

It seems like everything that we see perceived in the brain before we actually use our own eyes that everything we see is coming through computers or machines and then is being input in our brain cells. So that really worries me.

But computers have changed the world for everyone so there will be some way of working it out.

The idea that so many kids eat rubbish and sit on computers all day long appals me and getting them into sport is a major way of getting them off computers and leading healthier lives.

Something else has happened with computers.

One of the things that is not so good is that a decision was made long ago about the size of an IP address – 32 bits. At the time it was a number much larger than anyone could imagine ever having that many computers but it turned out to be to small.

China has legally purchased high performance computers advanced machine tools and semiconductor-manufacturing equipment from several American companies.

Over the eons I’ve been a fan of and sucker for each latest automated system to ‘simplify’ and ‘bring order to’ my life. Very early on this led me to the beautiful-and-doomed Lotus Agenda for my DOS computers and Actioneer for the early Palm.

I am a huge supporter for cash for caulkers – which allows people to make improvement for energy efficient in their homes. We should do the same for Americans purchasing appliances and computers and for that matter new air-conditioner and heating units.

While the recent addition of the National Guard providing a support role manning computers and cameras has allowed more Border Patrol agents to work the field more agents are still needed.

Comic books aren’t nerdy. You’d have to be an idiot to think computers are nerdy.

We’ve been working now with computers and education for 30 years computers in developing countries for 20 years and trying to make low-cost machines for 10 years. This is not a sudden turn down the road.

My e-mail address is actually my wife’s e-mail address. I actually hate computers.

I like computers. I like the Internet. It’s a tool that can be used. But don’t be misled into thinking that these technologies are anything other than aspects of a degenerate economic system.

And it’s here and it’s ready and we can really revolutionize the way we educate our children with tablet computers and I’m committed to doing whatever I can to speaking to whomever I can to send this signal – to pound this message home. Now is the time.

I don’t look at computers as opponents. For me it is much more interesting to beat humans.

I’ve never been much of a computer guy at least in terms of playing with computers. Actually until I was about 11 I didn’t use a computer for preparing for games at all. I was playing a bit online was using the chess club mainly. Now obviously the computer is an important tool for me preparing for my games.

Well the big products in electronics in the ’50s were radio and television. The first big computers were just beginning to come in and represented the most logical market for us to work in.

Eventually I believe current attempts to understand the mind by analogy with man-made computers that can perform superbly some of the same external tasks as conscious beings will be recognized as a gigantic waste of time.

It is an interesting fact that during my tour I was never allowed access to computers radios or anything else that I might damage through curiosity or perhaps something more sinister.

Video games and computers have become babysitters for kids.

People are on their computers more than watching TV because you can only watch voyeur TV which is basically what reality shows are for so long.

After a semester or so my infatuation with computers burnt out as quickly as it had begun.

If I was designing a web site for elementary school children I might have a much higher percentage of older computers with outdated browsers since keeping up with browser and hardware technology has not traditionally been a strong point of most elementary schools.

I have three brothers and they’re all into computers. They’re all intellects. My mother would pay me a quarter a page to read a book and I couldn’t make 50 cents. I just couldn’t do it.

I am cursed with computers something always goes wrong.

Kids are finding out about the potential for discovery online from other sources many of them have computers at home for instance or their friends have them.

I realized that I loved using computers to create something but being an architect just wasn’t going to keep me interested. The idea of a life spent obsessing over bathroom details for an Upper East Side penthouse was pretty depressing.

Computers are hierarchical. We have a desktop and hierarchical files which have to mean everything.

They were saying computers deal with numbers. This was absolutely nonsense. Computers deal with arbitrary information of any kind.

Nowadays shots are created in post-production on computers. It’s not really photography.

People don’t understand computers. Computers are magical boxes that do things. People believe what computers tell them.

So a more sensible thing it seemed to me was to go to Silicon Valley and be pushing on the technology companies to accelerate the use of audio and music in computers.

Interactive computers and software will I think provide a less costly method of doing some kinds of inquiry in knowledge acquisition and even reasoning and interaction.

We all grew up our grandmothers and mothers had about three channels to watch so we watched those soaps and now a generation has grown up with the Internet and computers and video games.

We can just assume they have much more and powerful more advanced technology all the new computers everything could be much more easier and help them to build much more and many more nuclear weapons.

Well my wife always says to me and I think it’s true it’s very difficult for us to understand the Elizabethan understanding and enjoyment and perception of form as it is to say… it would be for them to understand computers or going to the moon or something.

Diaspora starts about a thousand years from now. Most of human civilisation has moved inside computers essentially a major branch of our descendants consists of conscious software.

Smartphones can relay patients’ data to hospital computers in a continuous stream. Doctors can alter treatment regimens remotely instead of making patients come in for a visit.

Computers rather frighten me because I never did learn to type so the whole thing seems extraordinarily complicated to me.

Originally I was in both software and in online computing. The first innovation really was sort of at that time that we’re marrying the telephone and the computer so that people wouldn’t have to drive to the computer center. We didn’t have $1000 computers.

They went back there looked at all the computers asked me to come in and tell them what all the computers were for specifically so they knew how to dismantle the network I had been running.

When they were done downloading all the information off each hard drive they took all the computers all the literature and loaded everything into a big white truck and left.

I am interested in computers and technology and art photography and design.

Learning can take place in the backyard if there is a human being there who cares about the child. Before learning computers children should learn to read first. They should sit around the dinner table and hear what their parents have to say and think.

Computers and electronic music are not the opposite of the warm human music. It’s exactly the same.

And my real enemy is not to hold the specimen sterile but it’s the lighting. The light is our real enemy. So we have to work with very very poor lighting. But we can increase the light with computers.

I’m looking to evolve the concept of the new renaissance artist taking the world by storm through the art of public display and demonstration with technical savvy using cell phones and computers.

I use computers for email staying current with my own website as well as finding important information through other websites. I also use it for creating MP3 files of new music I’m working on.

I started getting into Internet technologies and computers. I wasn’t especially interested in being a musician but I wound up finding my way back to being interested in music through computers.

From computers to information technology to airplanes it has been America’s unique blend of republican government and free-market capitalism that has allowed us to surpass all other nations in history.

Theaters are always going to be around and doing fine. With computers and technology we’re becoming more and more secluded from each other. And the movie theater is one of the last places where we can still gather and experience something together. I don’t think the desire for that magic will ever go away.

Well I had a lot of help from my father with the soldering and so on and he was very good at math and was fascinated with computers and so I was fortunate enough to have a bunch of exposure going all the way back to high school – this was in the 1960s.

So the thing I realized rather gradually – I must say starting about 20 years ago now that we know about computers and things – there’s a possibility of a more general basis for rules to describe nature.

There were no PCs when I started programming on computers.

When the first computers started to come in we tried to digitalize the seismological equipment.

There has never been an unexpectedly short debugging period in the history of computers.

Computers are to design as microwaves are to cooking.

I actually use a computer a lot. I have three computers that I use on a regular basis – one is on my desk top in my Washington office another is at home and I have my laptop that I use when I’m travelling.

There’s my education in computers right there this is the whole thing everything I took out of a book.

The big question society will have to answer is whether it wants computers thinking like humans.

Today computers help us making the music. It’s really a tool.