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155 Creepy Pickup Lines that Sound Weird

Creepy Pickup Lines

This post was most recently updated on July 8th, 2020

These creepy lines are not for everyone, make sure whom you are talking with before using these. Don’t blame us we have not warned you before!

Brace yourself for really dirty creepy lines below. If you want more, check out vulgar pickup lines 🙂

Creepy pickup lines

Check these dirty creepy pick up lines for yourself and they sure will work for you on the special day with that special one!

1: Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

2: Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.

3: That shirt’s very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.

4: Do you have an Asian passport? Because I’m China get into your Japantees

5: Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!

6: I think it’s time I tell you what people are saying behind your back… “Nice ass!”

7: I may not be a windshield repairman, but I can still fill your crack in.

8: Are you a termite? Cause you’re about to have a mouth full of wood.

9: Are you a middle eastern dictator? Because there’s a political uprising in my pants!

10: Are you a farmer? Because you’ve got some big, round, beautiful melons!

11: Your smile is almost as big, warm, and lovely as my penis!

12: Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

13: Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?

14: Do you run track? Cause I heard you Relay want this dick.

15: My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.

16: If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.

17: Are you from the ghetto? Cause I’m about to ghetto hold of dat ass.

18: You know what I like in a girl? My dick.

19: Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.

20: So you’re not into casual sex? Fine, I’ll put on a tux and we can call it formal sex.

21: Are you a doctor? cause you just cured my erectile dysfunction.

22: Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie – I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.

23: Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? [Pull your pockets inside out] Would you like to?

24: I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?

25: If I were a Nintendo cartridge would you blow me?

26: Do you work at Home Depot? Because you’re giving me wood.

27: I would tell you a joke about my penis, but it’s too long!

28: Hi, I’m wasted but this condom in my pocket doesn’t have to be.

29: Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I’ll owe you one.

30: Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.

31: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ between ‘F’ and ‘CK’

32: F**k me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Laura?

33: Hey Baby! I’d like to use your thighs as earmuffs.

34: Are you a pirate? Cause I’ve got a lot of semen waiting for you.

35: You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

36: Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.

37: Hey baby, I think you just made my two by four into a four by eight.

38: Is that a keg in your pants? Because I’d love to tap that ass.

39: Do you have an inhaler? Because you’ve got ass ma.

40: Hey cutie, wanna go halves on a baby?

41: You can call me cake, cause I’ll go straight to your ass.

42: Are you hungry? Cause omelette you suck this dick.

43: Do you like pudding? Cause I’ll be pudding this dick in your ass.

44: Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I’d love to spread them!

45: Can I read your t-shirt in braille?

46: Are you an early hominid? Because I’ve got a Homo Erectus right now.

47: Do you have pet insurance? Because your pussy’s getting smashed tonight!

48: Are you my homework? Cause I’m not doing you but I definitely should be.

49: Do you like jalapeños? Cause in a minute I’ll be jalapeño pussy.

50: Roses are red, violets are fine. If I be the 6, will you be the 9?

51: I’m not Asian but I’ll still eat your cat.

52: There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.

53: Do you go to church often? Cause you’re gonna be on your knees tonight.

54: Touch your toes and I’ll show you where the rocket goes!

55: On a scale from 1 to “the human centipede”, how close am I to that ass?

56: Do you know your ABC’s? Cause I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet.

57: I hope you like dragons, because I’ll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.

58: Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.

59: I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

60: You are so selfish! You’re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.

61: Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.

62: Your clothes are making me uncomfortable; please take them off.

63: I’m a bird watcher and I’m looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher. Have you seen one?

64: What’s the speed limit of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!

65: I’m an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

66: I’m like a Rubik’s Cube, the more you play with me the harder I get!

67: What’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don’t have a Ferrari.

68: Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?

69: I’m afraid of the dark… Will you sleep with me tonight?

70: I love my bed but I’d rather be in yours.

71: Baby, I’m like a firefighter, I find ’em hot and leave ’em wet!

72: If I’m a pain in your ass… We can just add more lubricants.

73: I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don’t need it after all.

74: Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?

75: Do you work at build-a-bear? Because I’d stuff you

76: I’ll kiss you in the rain, so you get twice as wet.

77: Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!

78: Do you know the difference between my dick and a chicken wing? No? Well, let’s go on a picnic and find out!

79: Hey babe, how about a pizza and a f**k? [No] What’s wrong, don’t you like pizza?

80: Are you a raisin? Cuz you’re a raisin my dick!

81: Did you grow up on a chicken farm? ‘Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.

82: Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.

83: Are you a sea lion? Because I can sea you lion in my bed tonight!

84: I’m no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.

85: Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants.

86: You remind me of my little toe… because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.

87: Do you need a stud in your life? Cause I got the STD and all I need is U.

88: If you thought Disneyland was the happiest place on earth, you haven’t been in my pants yet!

89: Why pay for a bra, when I would gladly hold your boobs up all day for free?

90: You smell like trash. May I take you out?

91: If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don’t, so let’s go.

92: Do you like Kellogg’s? Cause I wanna Frost your Flakes.

93: I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.

94: Are you a candle? Because I want to blow you.

95: Was your father a welder? Because those sure are acetylene tits!

96: I’m no good at pick up lines, but I can pick you up and you will feel my line.

97: You wanna go out this weekend? [Sorry, I have a boyfriend] I have a math test tomorrow [What?] Oh, I thought we were talking about things we could both cheat on!

98: Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!

99: I’m bigger and better than the Titantic – only 200 women went down on that vessel!

100: What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

101: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.

102: You remind me of a crop, because I wanna plow you.

103: All those curves, and me with no brakes.

104: [Give the person a bottle of wine or tequila] Drink this, and then call me when you’re ready.

105: Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.

106: I’m trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I’m allergic to sex.

107: You know, my lips won’t just kiss themselves.

108: Oh, I’m sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag!

109: Sex is evil; Evil is sin; Sin is forgiven; So let’s begin!

110: Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?

111: Hey I’m looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?

112: I’m a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

113: Do you take Visa?

114: Excuse me, I just shit in my pants. Can I get in yours?

115: You are the reason that god invented boners.

116: With great penis, comes great responsibility.

117: If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?

118: If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.

119: There are so many things you can do with the human mouth… why waste it on talking?

120: How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled or fertilized?

121: You smell… We should go take a shower together.

122: Would you like a hotdog to go with those buns?

123: You’re like my own personal brand of heroin.

124: This may seem corny, but you make me really horny.

125: If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you f**k me? [No] Good, because mine is 8 inches.

126: Do you like apples? [Yes/No] How about I take you home and f**k the sh*t out of you. How do like them apples?

127: Do you like jewels? [Yes/No] well, suck my dick, it’s a gem.

128: They say sex is a killer… Do you want to die happy?

129: First, I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I’ll move up to your belly button.

130: Your bone structure is giving my bone structure.

131: Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.

132: Are you a shark? Cause I’ve got some swimmers for you to swallow.

133: Are you jewish? Cause the way you’re looking at me, I’m beginning to think Jewish this dick was in your mouth.

134: Do you like soda? Because I’d mount-and-do you. (Mountain Dew)

135: Is it hot in here, or are your boobs just huge.

136: I’m peanut butter, you’re jelly, let’s have sex.

137: If it’s true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.

138: Remember my name, because you’ll be screaming it later!

139: Nice shoes, wanna f**k?

140: Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?

141: Pizza is my second favourite thing to eat in bed.

142: Call me Chris Brown, cause I’d hit that!

143: They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that p*ssy needs.

144: Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

145: I would absolutely love to swap bodily fluids with you.

146: Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.

147: I’m gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.

148: I’d like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

149: Does your ass have Allstate insurance? [No, why?] Well do you want it to be in good hands?

150: Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.

151: You have been very naughty. Go to my room!

152: Do you like Wendy’s? Cause you’re gonna love Wendy’s nuts slap yo face!

153: Do you like Pizza Hut? Cause I’ll stuff your crust.

154: You should stop drinking, because you’re driving me home!

155: You remind me of my cousin. I want to bang you so bad, but I know that I can’t.

Did you find creepy pick up lines funny?

How are these collection of creepy pick up lines? Did you try some of these lines with your significant other half? Let us know which is your favorite line, we will be glad to hear your feedback.

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