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114 Dirty Pickup Lines for Guys – Best Ever

Here’s a look at 100+ best dirty pick up lines ever for guys. They’re cheesy, corny, and definitely a bit dirty! Further, these are funny and few are hilarious. So lets jump into dirty pickup lines for guys 🙂

Pretty much all the pick up artists out there who are worth their salt likes their funny pick up lines dirty and sexual. So, here we are.

Dirty pickup line for guys

These cheesy and dirty lines may not be the best to use when chatting up a stranger in a bar or on a dating app, but if you’re trying to make you significant other laugh then they sure are worth trying.

1: Gee, that’s a nice set of legs. What time do they open?

2: Let’s play Barbie. I’ll be Ken and you can be the box I come in.

3: If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

4: Wanna try an Australian kiss? It’s like a French kiss but down under.

5: Hey baby, there’s a party in my pants and you’re invited!

6: Hi, I’m the new milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?

7: Hi, I’m a freelance gynaecologist. How long has it been since your last check up?

8: You know if I were you I’d have sex with me.

9: The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it in you?

10: I wish you were my little toe. Then I could bang you on every piece of furniture in my house.

11: I’m either going home with you or behind you. Take your pick.

12: Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore… My face should be among them.

13: If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?

14: So you’re not into casual sex? Fine, I’ll put on a tux and we can call it formal sex.

15: Excuse me, but does my tongue taste funny to you?

16: If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put my name first so you could memorize what to moan later on tonight.

17: I’m a Love Pirate, and I’m here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!

18: I’m bisexual. I’d like to buy you a drink and then get sexual.

19: Since we shouldn’t waste things in this bad economy, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.

20: As long as you need a place to sit, you’ll always have my face.

21: Do you want to have great sex? No? Good, then come to my place.

22: You have eyes like spanners. When I look into them my nuts tighten.

23: We should play strip poker. You can strip and I’ll poke you.

24: Hey baby, what do you say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?

25: I hope you’re a plumber, ’cause you got my pipe leaking.

26: Why have I got a pierced tongue? You’ll soon find out.

27: Hey girl, wanna go halves on a baby?

28: You’re on my list of things to do tonight.

29: Hey baby, you’ve got something on your butt… my eyes!

30: What time do you get off? Can I watch?

31: Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed.

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32: Let’s make like Winnie The Pooh, and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.

33: Hi, I’ve been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it’s time to see if I’m right.

34: Hi, I’m your slave. Take me home and mistreat me.

35: I heard your ankles were having a party. Want to invite your pants down?

36: Can I park my car in your garage? It’s pretty big but it doesn’t leak.

37: I might not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.

38: I’ll show you my tan lines if you’ll show me yours.

39: You know how your hair would look really good? In my lap.

40: I’d like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

41: Liquor is not the only hard thing around here, girl.

42: Lie down on that couch and pretend your legs hate each other.

43: I’ll kiss you in the rain so you get twice as wet.

44: Are you a cowgirl? ‘Cause I can see you riding me.

45: I’m feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?

46: Hi, I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

47: You’ve got some nice jewelry. It’d look great on my nightstand.

48: If you look that good in clothes, you must look even better out of them.

49: I’m going to have sex with you later, so you might as well be there.

50: You’re so hot, I could roast my meat on you, girl.

51: If you’re feeling down, I can fill you up.

52: Hey baby, I’m kind of cold. Can I use your thighs as earmuffs?

53: You’re so selfish. You’re going to have that body for the rest of your life, and I only want it for one night.

54: What’s my name? People call me “Bar Stool” because of my third leg.

55: Tonight’s word is “legs”. Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.

56: Let’s play house. You can be the door then I can slam you all I want.

57: Hey, lets play farmer. You be the farmland, I’ll plant the seed.

58: I’m going outside to make out. Care to join me?

59: I’m the finger down your spine when all the lights go out.

60: I’m like a Rubik’s Cube. The more you play with me the harder I get.

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61: If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?

62: I’m not trying to pressure you. I don’t want to have sex without mutual consent. Oh, and by the way, you have my consent.

63: I’ve just received government funding for a four hour expedition to find your G spot.

64: I’m scared of getting pregnant, so do you want to go up to my room and help me test all my condoms?

65: Hey baby, what’s your sign? Caution, Slippery When Wet, Dangerous Curves Ahead, Yield?

66: Girl, you should sell hot dogs because you already know how to make a weiner stand.

67: Do you like Krispy Kreme? Because I’m gonna glaze your donut.

68: You smell like trash. May I take you out?

69: Girl, your bone structure is giving my bone structure.

70: Why don’t you sit on my lap and we’ll talk about whatever pops up?

71: Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me a footlong.

72: Why don’t you surprise your room mate and not come home tonight?

73: Baby I want to wear you like a pair of sunglasses… One leg over each ear.

74: Did you clean your pants with Windex? ‘Cause I can see myself in them.

75: My bed is broken. Can I sleep in yours?

76: If your left leg was Christmas and your right leg was Thanksgiving, could I visit between the holidays?

77: If I was a robot and you were one too, If I lost a bolt would you give me a screw?

78: Girl, I like every bone in your body. Especially mine.

79: Nice legs, let’s eat out.

80: You can touch mine, if I can touch yours with mine.

81: That dress would look great on my bedroom floor.

82: My face is leaving in 15 minutes. Be on it.

83: Those breasts look very heavy. Shall I hold them for you?

84: Let’s play Titanic. When I shout “Iceberg”, you go down.

85: Hey baby, will you be my love buffet so I can lay you on the table and take what I want?

86: I’m a businessman. I work in orifices. Got any openings?

87: I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me.

88: You know how they say the skin is the largest organ in the body? Not in my case.

89: Do you sleep on your stomach? [No]. Can I?

90: That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

91: That’s a beautiful smile, but it’d look even better if it was all you were wearing.

92: Hi, I’m a burglar and I’m going to smash your back door in.

93: What’s a nice girl like you doing in a mind like mine?

94: Come and sit on my lap and let’s get things straight between us.

95: I want you to be the girl who takes my virginity.

96: Are you a drill sergeant? Because you’ve got my privates standing at attention.

97: I lost my pants. Do you mind if I wrap your legs around me instead?

98: You’re so hot even my zipper is falling for you.

99: Do you work at a butcher’s shop? ‘Cause you’re giving me a T-bone.

100: You can call me “The Fireman”. Because I turn the hoes on.

101: It’s true there are plenty more fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I want to catch and mount back at my place.

102: Do you like cherries? If not, can I have yours?

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103: Are you an elevator? Because I’d like to go down on you.

104: I find your lack of nudity disturbing.

105: Your Dad must have been a baker, because you’ve got a nice set of buns.

106: I’m no weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonight.

107: I think I ought to tell you what people are saying behind your back. Nice butt!

108: When I see you, sea levels aren’t the only thing rising.

109: Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you’ve got a pretty sweet butt.

110: Smile if you want to have sex with me.

111: If I were a squirrel and you were a tree, I’d store my nuts in your hole.

112: They say your tongue is the strongest muscle in your body. Wanna fight?

113: I want to melt in your mouth not in your hand.

114: My couch pulls out but I don’t.

Did you find dirty pickup lines for guys useful?

How are these huge collection of dirty pick up lines for guys? Did you try some of these lines with your significant other half? Let us know which is your favorite line, we will be glad to hear your feedback.

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