Do you like to get marriage early or late? It is definitely a matter of choice, but the general consensus on the right age for marriage for women is between 25 and 30.
As per the study conducted by Nick Wolfinger, a sociologist at the University of Utah concludes that the risk for divorce is the lowest for people who marry between 28-32 years of age. That would actually qualify as late marriage, and while people have their own reasons to get married late, there are probably cons too. Lets get into little deeper.
What are the Reasons to Get Married Late in Life?
Statistics point out that the average age of marriage is rising slowly, but quite steadily. Women who married in 20’s are now getting married in their early 30’s while men marry when they hit 35-40 years. Delaying marriage is a trend especially observed in cosmopolitan cities, where increasing independence, career goals, and freedom have scored over the traditional institution of marriage. If we had to sum up, the below reasons add up to delaying marriages –
1. To get financially secure before marriage
Finances and money play a major role when it comes to delaying marriages. Men and women want to secure themselves financially and cater to their own aspirations. They wish to have a good bank balance and plan for a dream honeymoon. Some people want lavish weddings and they want to save for it. Delaying marriage seems fit to give shape to all these aspirations. Men and women can have better-paying jobs and careers, and they may also be in good positions to fulfill their wishes.
2. To gain more experience on dating and relationship
Most men and women indulge in dating, and sometimes even get their heart broken. Some people take a long time to come out of break-ups and opt for a late marriage, while some wish to explore the dating scene for some more time before committing to someone. The flings, one-night stands and the excitement of being ‘available’ makes many young people shy away from marriage.
3. To live the life they want
Single people tend to love their independence and freedom – both economic and individual- Marriage calls for a lot of compromises and singlehood is amazingly independent. You do not owe anyone your financial and social moves, you are free, and you do not have to make compromises or seek anyone’s permission for what you wish to do. The marriage part looks like a boring bond to many people.
4. To become more self-aware
Some people will choose to delay marriage in a bid to gain self-awareness and self-confidence for themselves. They better understand their limitations as a person, and they are also aware of what and how much they can offer. Life seems more meaningful to such people, and with a late marriage, they are looking at someone who shares the same interests and desires – as they now know what they need in a matrimonial alliance.
5. To get matured and understand others
You mature with age. Impulsiveness fades away and you reason with more maturity and are grounded, no matter what the circumstances. They are also wise to understand the complications that a marriage may bring on the table, and are prepared for the same. They have a good sense of what they want and what they do not want in a spouse and make a very informed decision.
What are the Problems of Late Marriage?
So while getting married when you have a stellar career and a good social circle, coupled with a good bank balance and some wisdom may seem like an ideal choice, it really is not. Getting married late brings about a lot of problems and complications, not just to you and your partner as a couple, but to the society as a whole. Here are some most pertinent relationship problems of a late marriage –
1. Difficulty in adjusting with the partner
Once you live the ‘single’ life for a long time, you get set in your ways and the way you want things to be done. Much like old people who cannot be changed in their ways after a certain age, living single for a long time also makes one stick to what one thinks is right. That makes marriage a difficult tread as no one is willing to make any adjustments, and wants to continue the way they have been living till now. It can make marriage quite an uphill task/
2. Faded youthfulness and excitement
Youth has its own valor and zeal. When you marry late, that zeal has faded away with time. You do not have that enthusiasm to do something fun and impulsive for your better half. You have already explored a lot and have passed the fun days. Now you are more mature in thoughts and actions, and that prevents you from doing something crazy. This makes the married life boring and does not lend a solid foundation of crazy, fun moments to keep the spark alive for long.
3. Difficulty to conceive for women
A woman’s fertility decreases with age. Research has it that older men and women both have difficulty in reproducing healthy babies as they get older. While the risk for women is more pronounced, men can too be affected in their ability to procreate as they age. Children born to older parents have a considerable risk of Down’s Syndrome and other complications. With increasing age, women take longer to conceive and also the risk of miscarriage and complications in pregnancy and childbirth increases. As a woman ages, her eggs too, age with her thus depleting in the quantity and quality of eggs.
4. Lack of choices and hasty decisions
After you hit your mid-30’s, the prospects of getting suitable life-partner also go down. You may not have a lot of choices and may have to settle in with a hurried, hasty decision. You will not get enough time for courtship as families would be pressing for marriage. Plus your biological clock will be ticking and you’d be in a rush to have kids. All these factors will make you jump into a marriage without much thought, and this can be disastrous sometimes.
5. Less time for sex
Late marriages also affect the sex life of a couple. Young couples experiment with a lot of sex in their early days because they have both time and energy. Older couples do not that high sex drive and are in a rush to reproduce and have children. This leaves them with lesser time for sex, and they do not connect with each other in a passionate way. Responsibilities take over and couples do not get to spend carefree time with each other. This carefree, passionate time is essential to building a foundation that lasts a lifelong.
While many may argue how beneficial it is for the self to get married when everything else has settled down, late marriage also comes with their own set of disadvantages. People often feel weird to get married after an age when their friends have school going kids. While there is no one shoe that fits all, problems associated with late marriages cannot be ignored.