Famous Quotes by Comedian W. C. Fields

Collection of famous quotes by American comedian W. C. Fields.

William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler, and writer. Fields’ comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his supposed contempt for children and dogs.

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Best Quotes by W. C. Fields

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

— W. C. Fields

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.

— W. C. Fields

When we have lost everything including hope life becomes a disgrace and death a duty.

— W. C. Fields

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death where is thy sting?

— W. C. Fields

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

— W. C. Fields

Sleep – the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.

— W. C. Fields

All the men in my family were bearded and most of the women.

— W. C. Fields

Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

— W. C. Fields

I cook with wine sometimes I even add it to the food.

— W. C. Fields

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

— W. C. Fields

I cook with wine sometimes I even add it to the food.

— W. C. Fields

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

— W. C. Fields

I like children – fried.

— W. C. Fields

Show me a great actor and I’ll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress and you’ve seen the devil.

— W. C. Fields

I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.

— W. C. Fields

When we have lost everything including hope life becomes a disgrace and death a duty.

— W. C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

— W. C. Fields

Never try to impress a woman because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

— W. C. Fields

Sleep – the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.

— W. C. Fields

All the men in my family were bearded and most of the women.

— W. C. Fields

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

— W. C. Fields

It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

— W. C. Fields

Hell I never vote for anybody I always vote against.

— W. C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

— W. C. Fields

If at first you don’t succeed try try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

— W. C. Fields

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

— W. C. Fields

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

— W. C. Fields

You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

— W. C. Fields

No doubt exists that all women are crazy it’s only a question of degree.

— W. C. Fields

Women are like elephants. I like to look at ’em but I wouldn’t want to own one.

— W. C. Fields

All the men in my family were bearded and most of the women.

— W. C. Fields

I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.

— W. C. Fields

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