Death and funeral one liners
We repeat the line “One liner a day, keeps a doctor away” just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners. So check this list of death funny lines and enjoy.
1: It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there’s shipping and handling, too.
2: Oxygen is proven to be a toxic gas. Anyone who inhales oxygen will normally dies within 80 years.
3: Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
4: You should always show up at your funeral.
5: If I die, I’m taking you with me!… oh, -you’re- dying? Forget I said anything.
6: A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic. – Joseph Stalin
7: The only certain thing in life is death.
8: What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
9: Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he’ll starve to death while praying for a fish.
10: How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?
11: Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
12: Smoking is a slow death! But we’re not in a hurry
13: Death is hereditary.
14: Over half the world’s population die.
15: I have decided to live forever, or die in the attempt.
16: Death to all fanatics!
17: Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
18: It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It’s called living. (Terry Pratchett)
19: The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
20: Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
21: Always go to other people’s funerals; otherwise, they won’t come to yours.
Did you find funeral one liners funny?
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