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Question and Answer Jokes on Cocaine and Drugs

Collection of hilarious answers for funniest questions about drugs and cocaine. Enjoy these drugs shorts jokes and cocaine jokes (but not the drugs).

It is always fun to talk with alcoholics and listen to their funny response. So we have large collection of jokes on bar and bartenders that you will enjoy. If you don’t like drugs, still there may be a reason to say you are a stoner 🙂

Cocaine and Drugs short jokes

We repeat the line “One liner a day, keeps a doctor away” just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners. So check this short jokes on drugs and enjoy.

Q: What’s black on the outside and white on the inside?
A: Whitney Houston’s nose! “

Q: What does a drug addict dream about on Christmas Eve?
A: Building a snowman using only cocaine.

Q: Did you hear about the duck with a drug problem?
A: He was a quackhead.

Q: If legalizing pot in the USA can bring in billions in dollars in taxes, what can legalizing cocaine do?
A: Bring back the Bee-Gees and clothing from the 70’s!

Q: Why was Tila Tequila caught stalking a beautiful woman?
A: The beautiful woman reminded Tila of her ex and the vial of crack cocaine she stole!

Q: What did George W Bush say after hearing Barack Obama admitted to using cocaine in high school?
A: “High school? I can’t believe he waited that long.”

Q: What are the first five words a crackhead in a three piece tailored suit hears?
A: “Will the defendant please rise”

Q: What happened to the guy who accidentilly mixed Rogaine into his cocaine?
A: He’s in the Guiness Book of World Records for the world’s longest nostril hair!

Q: What games to cocaine enthusiasts play?
A: Hundred Dollar Bills, the game is similar to the drinking game quarters but you crumple up a hundred dollar bill and try to bounce it into a cup. If you win you use the 100 dollar bill to snort the cocaine!

Q: How do you know that a Mexican drug cartel has purchased your favorite cereal companies?
A: They use Tony the Tiger to promote an adult cocaine infused version of “Frosted Flakes”

Q: What do you call a person addicted to both cocaine and marijuana?
A: A Crack-Pot

Q: Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
A: She thought it was diet coke.

Q: What do republicans think it’s alright to do cocaine?
A: Cocaine is God’s way of saying you earn far too much money!

Q: If cocaine were legal, what would the little packages be called?
A: Sweet N’ High?

Q: What do you call a dictionary snorting crack?
A: addictionary.

Q: Who makes more money a cocaine dealer or a prostitute?
A: A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack, and sell it again!

Q: What do you call a childrens book about a chickenhead?
A: “Little Crack-House on the Prairie”

Q: Amy Winehouse’s health is at risk due to her crack problem.
A: Her doctors say that if she doesn’t wash it soon, she’ll get gangrene.

Q: Why do rich kids have shiny white teeth?
A: Cause they brush with coke.

Q: Why did Ann Coulter have to be rushed to the emergency room after doing cocaine?
A: Apparently she walked naked past a mirror and saw her penis!

Q: What do you get when a drug addict bends over?
A: His Buttcrack

Q: What will Amy Winehouse do with her 5 grammy awards?
A: Sell them on Ebay to buy cocaine!

Q: What film is getting its lead actress Lindsay Lohan a lot of Oscar buzz?
A: Coke Whore!

Q: What can tourists do on a $65 tour of gang turf in Los Angeles?
A: Purchase a postcard, t-shirt, and some crack cocaine!

Q: What happened after the government released a survey finding that most US currency is laced with cocaine?
A: The street value of a dollar bill jumped to $1.14!

Q: How do you know that a Mexican drug cartel has purchased your favorite cereal companies?
A: Sonny, the Cuckoo bird for Cocoa Puffs was arrested for carrying a kg of cocaine!

Q: What did a team of doctors say when Nicole Richie complained about her inability to gain weight while she was pregnant?
A: Doctors concluded that she should eat foods rather than cocaine and vodka!

Q: What happened after the Mexican government eliminated jail time for drug possession?
A: For the first time in history Mexico is worried about illegal immigration from the US!

Q: What can you infer after watching a Billy Mays infomercial?
A: He would one day die of a cocaine overdose!

Q: What games to cocaine enthusiasts play?
A: Snort, you simply watch your favorite tv sitcom, whenever they say the “special” word you snort cocaine!

Q: How do you know that a Mexican drug cartel has purchased your favorite cereal companies?
A: The Trix rabbit was found dead after an apparent ecstasy overdose!

Q: What’s worth more than a black market kidney or liver?
A: Kate Moss’ nose hairs!

Q: How did the WTA know that Martina Hingis was using cocaine?
A: She tried to snort the service line!

Q: What did Courtney love say after losing 45 pounds in 4 months?
A: Cocaine is yummy!

Q: What games to cocaine enthusiasts play?
A: Cocaine Pong, its the same as Beer Pong but you simply empty out the beer and replace them with grams of raw cocaine. Start playing and enjoy!

Q: How do you know that a Mexican drug cartel has purchased your favorite cereal companies?
A: They change the slogan for Rice Krispies to “Snack on crack and pot…Rice Krispies!”

Did you find short drug jokes as funny?

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