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Sexy 69 One Liners Are Always Funny

Collection of spicy and sexy one liner jokes that are hilarious. Readers discretion advised. These jokes are sexy and funny – not for kids.

If you are in search of funny adult one liners, you will certainly enjoy our collection of such short jokes.

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Romantic one linersMarriage one liner jokes

Funny one liners on 69 sex position

These are awesome short liners on 69 position and fun to read.

1: Why was 69 afraid of 70?
Because they once had a fight and 71

2: Where is the best place to 69 in France?
Nice.

3: How does 69 feel to the average Redditor?
Nice

4: What’s 69 times 2?
Dinner for four.

5: What’s the square root of 69?
Eight something.

6: What’s better than 69?
77. you get ate more

7: A new poll says 69% of Americans support Medicare-for-All… …which pales in comparison to the 100% of Americans who support “69 for All”

8: What comes after 69?
mouthwash.

9: I was really excited when I picked up a book titled “69 Mating positions”.
Turns out it was about chess.

10: What’s the difference between 69 and family reunion?
You only see one asshole in 69

11: What’s the difference between 69 and 6.9?
6.9 is great sex interrupted by a period.

12: It’s 69 degrees right now in December
I didn’t realize it would be this nice out

13: It’s 69 degrees outside
Feels good.

14: You know the difference between 68 & 69 ?
Blow me and I owe you 1

15: My Wife and I must be getting older. The meaning of 69 has changed …
Now we just lay on the bed and tie each others shoes.

16: World War 69 will be the war that…
make our ends meet…

17: My husband keeps insisting we try 69
but I think we should keep the thermostat at 72 degrees this winter.

18: My dad told me it was 69° outside…
I told him it was a nice temperature.

19: 69 What’s the worst thing about doing 69 with someone, the view!

20: You’ve heard of a 69, but have you heard of a 71?
It’s like a 69, but with two watching.

Sexy 69 one liners that are hot

We repeat the line “One liner a day, keeps a doctor away” just to re-emphasize the impact of funny and concise one liners. So check this list of sexy 69 lines and enjoy.

1: Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

2: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs? Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor.

3: The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

4: Those days I only knew six words if you count muther fucker as two.

5: What is better than a cold Bud? A warm bush.

6: What are two reasons why men don’t mind their own business? 1. No mind. 2. No business.

7: What did the black girl say while having sex? Dad get off me your crushing my ciggies.

8: How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner.

9: Where do you find a no-legged dog? Right where you left him.

10: When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper ‘You did this.’

11: How are husbands like lawn mowers? They’re hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don’t work.

12: I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

13: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? Full.

14: Did you hear about the blind prostitute? Well, you got to hand it to her.

15: If we were stranded in a desert and a snake bit my penis, would you suck the poison out?

16: Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

17: FRIDAY is my second favorite F word.

18: How does a black chick tell if she’s pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

19: What’s one of the worst things about giving a man a blow job? The view.

20: Why can’t blondes count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

21: What’s a mixed feeling? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

22: If you go to sleep with a itching ass you will wake up with a stinking finger…

23: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? Nice tits!

24: Why did the woman cross the road? Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?

25: What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds.

26: When we were together, you always said you’d die for me. Now that we’ve broke up, I think it’s time you kept your promise!

27: How do you tell if a chick’s too fat to f*ck? When you pull her pants down and her ass is still in them.

28: What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window.

29: What’s the difference between sand and menstrual blood? You can’t gargle sand.

30: When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

31: What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don’t look down.

32: Why did God give men penises? So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.

33: Three words to ruin a man’s ego…? ‘Is it in?’

34: Why did God give Black guy’s big dicks? He felt sorry for putting pubes on their heads.

35: Why is a man’s pee yellow, and his sperm white? So he can tell if he’s coming or going.

36: Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

37: What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a blonde? You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!

38: What do they do with blacks after they die? Gut them and use them as wetsuits.

39: What’s the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck.

40: Always wear high heels, it makes it easier to look down on him.

41: Why do women prefer old gynecologists? Their shaky hands!

42: What is the difference between ‘ooooooh’and ‘aaaaaaah’? About three inches.

43: Why don’t women have men’s brains? Because they don’t have penises to put them in.

44: What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

45: What’s long, black and smelly? The unemployment line.

46: But do you know what 6.9 is? A good thing screwed up by a period.

47: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Yell at her.

48: What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy? A dry Martinez.

49: My dad used to always warn me about anal. He would say ‘Now son, this may hurt a bit’.

50: Miss Anders… I didn’t recognise you with your clothes on.

51: If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way.

52: Hey, I’m not saying Hitler was a great guy, but he really saved the Histoy channel.

53: I was at a restaurant and I noticed my waitress had a black eye. So I ordered very sloooowly because obviously she doesn’t listen.

54: Einstein used science to get laid; that guy is a genius… I’ve been using money.

55: Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

56: Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn’t close his casket.

57: Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

58: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!

59: Men? On the whole, I’d rather buy new batteries.

60: How are women and linoleum floors alike? You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

61: Why can’t single women fart? They don’t get an asshole till they get married.

62: Some people prefer their women young and tender; I prefer mine ten and younger.

63: Why was Jesus a virgin when he died? Every time he touched a ‘wound’ it closed.

64: What’s the definition of a male chauvinist pig? A man who hates every bone in a woman’s body, except his own.

65: If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are… you have small boobs.

66: How do you fix a woman’s watch? Why should you? There’s a clock on the oven.

67: How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

68: What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease? One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running c*nt.

69: What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it.

Did you find sexy 69 one liners funny?

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