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Thanksgiving Quips – Witty Riddles & Quotes

Thanksgiving Quips

Thanksgiving day tradition includes a big meal with family or friends. How about some witty and funny riddles to spice up the day? Check out collection of funny Thanksgiving quips, including riddles, idioms and sayings.

For the celebrations, Thanksgiving one liners and some Thanksgiving trivia teasers can be good fun too, check out the link for some of the best one lines.

Thanksgiving Day Riddles

A tricky question during the Thanksgiving conversation can light up the mood. Witty Thanksgiving riddles are perfect for the occasion. A riddle is a statement or question or phrase having a double or veiled meaning, put forth as a puzzle to be solved.

1. What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock
2. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims
3. Why can't you take a turkey to church?
They use FOWL language.
4. Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
It had 24 carrots.
5. What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
6. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A turkey that can pluck itself!
7. When do you serve tofu turkey?
Pranksgiving.
8. What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it?
Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
9. Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving?
A turkey because it is always stuffed.
10. Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers!
11. What did baby corn say to mama corn?
Where’s popcorn?
12. If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their AGE!
13. Why do the pants of pilgrims keep falling down?
Because their belt buckles are on their hats!
14. Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks
15. What do you call the day in November when your son and all his cousins get rowdy?
Spanksgiving.
16. What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving?
Twerk-ey!
17. What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!
18. What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son?
If your papa could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!
19. What if the Pilgrims shot a bobcat instead of a turkey?
We’d be eating pussy for Thanksgiving!
20. What two animals get stuffed on Thanksgiving?
Turkeys & people after Thanksgiving dinner.
21. If a man wants to eat a turkey on Thanksgiving, what does a turkey want?
It simply wants to run away.
22. What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?
God save the kin.
23. Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside
24. What do you call an evil turkey?
Poultry-Geist
25. Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play
26. What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
The turKEY
27. What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
Boy! I’m stuffed!
28. What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
He had an arrow escape
29. What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?
To be or not to be roasted, that is the question.
Spoiler title
Because they never learned good table manners!
31. What sound does a space turkey make?
Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
32. When does your brother bring his new girlfriend to dinner?
Skanksgiving.
33. What key has legs and can't open doors?
A Turkey.
34. Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off!
35. Which cat discovered America?
Christofurry Columbus
36. What do you call a running turkey?
Fast food.
37. What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called?
Turkey feathers
38. Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down?
Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat.
39. What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot
40. What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving
41. What did the turkey say to the computer?
Google, google, google!
42. What do you call the age of a pilgrim?
Pilgrimage.
43. What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach?
Puritan.
44. What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he's in pain?
Pil-grimace.
45. What do you call a pilgrims vocabulary?
Pilgrammar.
46. What do modern day Native Americans call a pilgrim?
Pilgrim Reaper.
47. What was the turkey looking for at ToysRus?
Gobbleheads.
48. What does Dracula call Thanksgiving?
Fangs-giving.
49. If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower than what does the teacher come on?
The scholar ships.
50. What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit?
A poultrygeist!
51. Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?
The turkey because he’s already stuffed!
52. In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated?
Turkey.
53. If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one?
Goblet.
54. What was the turkey suspected of?
Fowl play.
55. What's the best way to stuff a turkey?
Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
56. Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
To hatchet.
57. What sound does a turkey's phone make?
Wing! Wing!
58. What happens to a turkey on Thanksgiving?
It gets the stuffing knocked in to it.
59. What do you call a stuffed animal?
You after thanksgiving.
60. How do you keep Thanksgiving Day guests from falling asleep on your couch?
Infuse the gravy with cocaine.
61. What kids movie do you watch on Thanksgiving?
The Mighty Turduckens!
62. What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?
Your nose.
63. What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
A Har-VEST.
64. What holiday do they celebrate in prison?
Shanksgiving.
65. Why dont people in the ghetto celebrate thanksgiving?
KFC isnt open on holidays.
66. How do Rednecks celebrate Thanksgiving?
Pump kin!
67. What do Thanksgiving and Halloween have in common?
One has gobblers, the other goblins.
68. What do you call a holiday dinner without the parents?
Friendsgiving.
69. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.
70. What is a pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash

Thanksgiving Quotes by Famous People

Thanksgiving quote

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. The day is to to pause, reflect, and feel gratitude for all the blessings we have in our lives. Below Thanksgiving sayings are from famous leaders across the world.

We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives.John F. Kennedy

Pride slays thanksgiving, but a humble mind is the soil out of which thanks naturally grow. A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves.Henry Ward Beecher

He who thanks but with the lips Thanks but in part; The full, the true Thanksgiving Comes from the heartJ.A. Shedd

If you think about a Thanksgiving dinner, it’s really like making a large chicken.Ina Garten

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.Erma Bombeck

Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude.E.P. Powell

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Give thanks not just on Thanksgiving Day, but every day of your life. Appreciate and never take for granted all that you have.Catherine Pulsifer
Thanksgiving placard
What I love about Thanksgiving is that it’s purely about getting together with friends or family and enjoying food. It’s really for everybody, and it doesn’t matter where you’re from.Daniel Humm

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.Jon Stewart

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite days of the year because it reminds us to give thanks and to count our blessings. Suddenly, so many things become so little when we realize how blessed and lucky we are.Joyce Giraud

Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.Oprah Winfrey

Let us remember that, as much has been given us, much will be expected from us, and that true homage comes from the heart as well as from the lips, and shows itself in deeds.Theodore Roosevelt

Thanksgiving reminds us that no matter what befalls us in life, we can take the charred remnants and we can reconstruct a life unimaginably richer than that from which the shards and pieces fell.Craig D. Lounsbrough

What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?Erma Bombeck

Our rural ancestors, with little blest, Patient of labour when the end was rest, Indulged the day that housed their annual grain, With feasts, and off’rings, and a thankful strainAlexander Pope

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.Craig Ferguson

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues.Cicero

I suppose I will die never knowing what pumpkin pie tastes like when you have room for it.Robert Brault

It has been an unchallengeable American doctrine that cranberry sauce, a pink goo with overtones of sugared tomatoes, is a delectable necessity of the Thanksgiving board and that turkey is uneatable without it.Alistair Cooke

Real ballplayers pass the stuffing by rolling it up in a ball and batting it across the table with a turkey leg.Tom Swyers

The more we express thanks, the more gratitude we feel. The more gratitude we feel, the more we express thanks. It’s circular, and it leads to a happier life.Steve Goodier

And though I ebb in worth, I’ll flow in thanks.John Taylor

Appreciation can change a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.Margaret Cousins

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.W.T. Purkiser

You shouldn’t just give during Christmas and Thanksgiving you should be giving all the time.Alcurtis Turner

If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily.Gerald Good

Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.P. J. O’Rourke

Thanksgiving Day is a good day to recommit our energies to giving thanks and just giving.Amy Grant

If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.W. Clement Stone

On Thanksgiving I will stop to give thanks that my family is safe and healthy, especially because I realize that, following the tragedies of this year, it is all too real a possibility that they might not have been.Bobby Jindal

I love Thanksgiving because it is a holiday centered around food and family, two things that are of utmost importance to me.Marcus Samuelsson

The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.William Blake

But see, in our open clearings, how golden the melons lie; Enrich them with sweets and spices, and give us the pumpkin-pie!Margaret Junkin Preston+B56


Thanksgiving, our eminent moral holiday, doesn’t have much for children. At its heart are conversation, food, drink, and fellowship – all perks of adulthood.Rosecrans Baldwin

It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beakPhyllis Diller

Thanksgiving is a time of togetherness and gratitude.Nigel Hamilton

Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action.W.J. Cameron

I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that.Howie Mandel

My fondest memories are generally the day after Thanksgiving. I get the total decorating Christmas itch.Katharine McPhee

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.Rita Rudner

Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow.Edward Sandford Martin

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite days of the year because it reminds us to give thanks and to count our blessings. Suddenly, so many things become so little when we realize how blessed and lucky we are.Joyce Giraud

You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.Jay Leno

The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?Jim Gaffigan

It’s like being at the kids’ table at Thanksgiving – you can put your elbows on it, you don’t have to talk politics… no matter how old I get, there’s always a part of me that’s sitting there.John Hughes

My Thanksgiving is perpetual. It is surprising how contented one can be with nothing definite — only a sense of existence.Henry David Thoreau

On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence.William Jennings Bryan

Thanksgiving was nothing more than a pilgrim-created obstacle in the way of Christmas; a dead bird in the street that forced a brief detour.Augusten Burroughs, You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas

Forever on Thanksgiving Day the heart will find the pathway home.Wilbur D. Nesbit

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.Thornton Wilder, The Woman of Andros

Thanksgiving comes to us out of the prehistoric dimness, universal to all ages and all faiths. At whatever straws we must grasp, there is always a time for gratitude and new beginnings.J. Robert Moskin

The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving.H.U. Westermayer

Almighty God, who hast given us this good land for our heritage; We humbly beseech Thee that we may always prove ourselves a people mindful of Thy favor and glad to do Thy will.Franklin D. Roosevelt

Thanksgiving creates abundance.Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

A thought about Thanksgiving Day: Once, there was this day… this one day when… everyone realized they needed each other. April Burns in Pieces of April

Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pantsKevin James

Here I am, 5 o’clock in the morning, stuffing bread crumbs up a dead bird’s butt.Rosanne in Rosanne

But see, in our open clearings, how golden the melons lie; Enrich them with sweets and spices, and give us the pumpkin-pie! Margaret Junkin Preston

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go baste the turkey and hide the kitchen knivesMrs. Pascal in The House of Yes

When asked if my cup is half-full or half-empty my only response is that I am thankful I have a cup.Sam Lefkowitz

It’s not too much food. This is what we’ve been training for our whole lives. This is our destiny, this is our finest hour.Lorelai Gilmore in Gilmore Girls

So what do we do?’ We do what all families do. Grin, bear it, and pass the mashed potatoes.Heather Brewer, Eleventh Grade Burns

Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.Henry Van Dyke

Overeating at Thanksgiving is a case in point. It’s a national tradition.Eric Samuel Timm, Static Jedi: The Art of Hearing God Through the Noise

Family gathers to share good noise and good food. Gratitude abounds.Richelle E. Goodrich

Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.Charles Dickens

I can’t cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast.Charlie Brown in A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving
Famous thanksgiving sayings

Thanksgiving Day Idioms

Thanksgiving is celebrated mainly in USA and Canada. This is also special celebration time in many places across the globe. Taking three symbols of Thanksgiving – turkey, stuffing and blessing – we have have funny idioms from English dictionary.

A Blessing in Disguise – Something that seems unfortunate or bad at first, but turns out to be a good thing (a blessing) in the end. Some of the best blessings are the ones that surprise you!
A Mixed Blessing – An event that has its advantages and disadvantages. Eating too many mashed potatoes is incredibly satisfying, but it can give you a stomach ache. Now that’s a mixed (mashed) blessing.
Eyes Bigger Than Your Stomach – When you think you can eat a certain amount of food, but it turns out to be way too much food. It’s a very common occurrence on Thanksgiving, and something that often leads to a food coma when it’s all said and done.
Dig In – To serve yourself some food and eat up. This is the most magical moment of any Thanksgiving!
The Rest Is Gravy – Anything extra is a nice bonus—like when everyone gets a piece of pumpkin pie, and there are still a few slices left over for later. Nice!
Hot Potato – A difficult situation that nobody wants to handle, so it gets passed from one person to the next. In the realm of Thanksgiving, a hot potato could actually be a hot potato, so be careful (and add butter) before you dig into the potato on your plate!
Gobble Up – To eat something really, really fast. This is how you eat when your mom whips out a tiny pumpkin pie, and there are at least 20 people sitting at your dinner table.
Food Coma – A state of drowsiness and euphoria that sets in after you eat a ton of food. Remember how your grandpa would always take a nap after eating a huge Thanksgiving dinner? That’s a classic example of a food coma.
Counting Your Blessings – To be grateful for all of the amazing things going on in your life. Isn’t that what Thanksgiving is all about?
Talking Turkey – To talk about a problem in a serious way with the intention of solving it as quickly as possible. On Thanksgiving, many families will talk turkey—over turkey!
I’m Stuffed – I’m so full that I can’t eat anymore. This might be the most relatable of Thanksgiving idioms.
Going Cold Turkey – A common phrase used to describe drug users who suddenly quits taking drugs, going cold turkey is a phrase used to describe how someone quickly quits a deep-rooted, bad habit. Grandpa has a turkey addiction, but this year, he quit cold turkey after eating three turkey legs. Yikes!
Stuffed Shirt – Someone who acts in a very formal way and expects to be treated as a very important, high-profile person. This might describe your aunt from Connecticut who insists that you call her “Ms. Archibald” at the dinner table on Thanksgiving.

Funny Thanksgiving Videos

Some fun time watching Thanksgiving Youtube videos after heavy dinner is not a bad idea. We found good collection of funny Thanksgiving videos to watch on Youtube. Let us know which other videos you like watching after dinner!

This one is from the famous Friends series, collection of Thanksgiving clips.

Check this from Saturday Night Live dinner time on Thanksgiving occasion.

Funny turkey videos to laugh at:

Happy Thanksgiving! Blesses for all.

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